People might be married, in a committed relationship, or surrounded by people all day, yet they still feel very alone. I feel social media has taken us online and away from precious connections in ‘real time’ – together. Restaurants, waiting rooms, line-ups and airports; everyone is glued to devices and no one talks anymore. In fact, on my last trip I attempted to strike up a conversation with someone on an airplane and they were clearly annoyed with me.
Social media has brought us anything but a feeling of being socially connected – most say they feel deflated and drained after being on social media platforms. I do too.
So what is intimacy then?
At the root of intimacy is connection.
Here’s the truth – we need to have a deep connection with ourselves before we can truly have deep connection with another. So, if we are craving intimacy – we can ask ourselves this: how can I connect with my own depths first?
Reflect on the questions below and notice how they make you feel.
Begin to search for some answers (from within):
- What makes me tick?
- What are my challenges, fears, glitches?
- What provokes me? What helps me feel safe?
- What do I need to feel more connected with myself? (Think of what makes your heart sing is it: being near the water, journaling, reading, a work-out, a good run, meditation, yoga?)
If you only let people in so far…are you doing the same with yourself? Are you keeping yourself at a distance, perhaps afraid to feel? We are taught to suck it up, stuff it away, bury it, sweep it under the rug, block it out, compartmentalize. Do any of these ‘strategies’ sound familiar? Are you afraid to face the pain in your life – old anger, being hurt or betrayed, having lost someone you love? This might be keeping you from a deeper connection to yourself.
How do we move our inner awareness and connection to a deeper place?
- Breathing more deeply. Get quiet…turn your awareness inside…move from the head to the heart. We tend to over think life and may have have been taught to think more than feel. Drop into your heart space and live from this place more of the time.
- Look in the mirror. I mean really look at yourself – not with a critical eye, but a loving eye…this can be very hard to do at first. Try to do this each time you brush your teeth.
- Begin a meditation practice, seated quietly with eyes closed focusing on your breath for five minutes per day.
- Give yourself a massage with coconut oil – yes, I am not kidding. Connect with your own body through gentle touch and self-care.
- Say your name out loud to yourself – 10 times…how does that make you feel? Observe your feelings?
- Attend a few workshops and gatherings I offer:
Womb Wisdom: Jade Egg Practice for Women on October 17
Conscious Connection Gathering on October 23
The Urban Goddess retreat on November 24 and 25
Authentic in 10 beginning January 23, 2019
The next newsletter will explore the topic of: Intimacy With Others.
I wish you abundant fall season filled with much love, passion and adventure. As always I am here to support you in this life journey – and welcome your feedback.