Have you taken time to notice how you speak, and the words that you use when you do so?
Have you witnessed how someone’s face lights up when you offer them a thank you or a compliment? Or how someone’s posture changes if you are critical or careless with your words? We have a choice in how we use words every time we open our mouths.
In this age of infrequent face-to-face communication and the predominance of email and texting, it is very easy to be misunderstood. I have realized over time that it is imperative to reread my communications before hitting send. It helps to red them out loud to myself to make sure I am getting my point across in the intended way. However, I have on more than one occasion been insensitive and too quick to hit the send key. It is critical to be more cautious…once you transmit it, there is no turning back.
I remember reading a book in my 20’s that used a term called “hostile humour.” We say something under the guise of using humour. It basically pointed out that we often poke fun at someone when it is really a jab or an insult – we do this when we don’t have the courage to say what we really mean. If we are upset, it is a way of getting back at them. If what you are going to say is not the truth or is in any way hurtful, bite your lip. If you are angry, then find a time to share your thoughts and feelings when the emotion has settled down. Expressing ourselves in a grounded, loving manner is far more effective.
Our words are both external and internal:
Externally we habitually repeat many statements and phrases without realizing it. For example: I am too old for this. I can’t afford to. I can’t begin an exercise program or lose weight until the children leave home. I will eat better when I have more time. I’ll do that when I retire.
Being aware of what we are saying is the first step in creating a positive inner reality which is eventually reflected in the outer reality. If we continually repeat the same phrase while trying to make a positive change – it will never happen.
Internally we have many repetitive thought patterns and words that we use mindlessly – and often against ourselves. When you talk to yourself are you saying: “Wow, you did a really good job today. You are so skilled!” Or is it more like this: “I’m so stupid, I’m not good at anything. I never do anything right.”
Do you look in the mirror in the morning and say: “I look great today. I look healthy and happy and fit.” Or are you saying: “Oh my, look at that belly and all those wrinkles around my eyes. I hate my body.” When I work with someone on weight management, those are key things to look at first. We can try all the diets in the world, but if we are saying negative words internally while eating a salad we are not getting anywhere. It is counterproductive to the goals you have – you are sabotaging yourself without knowing it.
Awareness is the key to changing any patterns you may have developed over time. Beginning to notice them, and then catching the negative words in your mind and rephrasing them on the spot is the best way to effect change right now. A mental image is often helpful when observing the negative thought again. For example, clearly imagine that you are switching to a different radio station, or that you have a big eraser, or that you are hitting the delete or backspace key.
What words do you use to begin your day? Are you excited about the day? Are you dreading work? Do you know that how you start the day will affect the ENTIRE day?
Try taking a few moments before you jump out of bed to pause. Take the time to visualize your day, what you would like to see in your day, how you would like the events to unfold, how you will act or speak. Aware and mindful we can make the day a fabulous one! Try it for a few mornings – you’ll be hooked. It is exciting and empowering.
Begin with this… “I create my day…” Use creative colourful delicious words.
Use your words and your thoughts to create the life of your dreams!