Have you taken time to notice how you speak, and the words you use? Have you witnessed how someone’s face lights up when you offer a thank you or compliment? Or how someone’s posture changes when you are critical or careless with your words? We have a choice in how we use words every time we open our mouths.
In this age of infrequent face-to-face communication and the predominance of email and texting, it is easy to miscommunicate or be misunderstood. I have found it imperative to reread them or read them out loud to myself to make sure I am getting my point across in the intended way before I hit the send key. However, I have on more than one occasion been insensitive and too quick to hit send. It is critical to be mindful, because once you transmit your message there is no turning back.
I recall a book I read in my 20’s that used a term called “hostile humour.” It suggested we say something under the guise of using humour, that we often poke fun at someone when it is really a jab or an insult. We do this when we don’t have the courage to say what we really mean. If we are upset, it might a way of getting back at someone. If what you are going to say is not the truth or is in any way hurtful, bite your lip. If you are angry, find a time to share your thoughts and feelings when the emotion has settled down. Expressing yourself in a grounded, loving manner is far more effective. I suggest never texting or emailing when you are upset – try to have face-to face communication whenever possible.
Words are both external and internal:
- Externally (out loud) we may habitually repeat many statements and phrases without realizing it. For example: “I am too old for this. I can’t afford to. I can’t begin an exercise program or lose weight until the children leave home. I will eat better when I have more time. I’ll do that when I retire.”
Being aware of what we are saying is the first step in creating a positive inner reality which is eventually reflected in the outer reality. If we continually repeat the same phrase while trying to make a positive change – it will never happen.
- Internally (silently to yourself) we have many repetitive thought patterns and words that we use mindlessly – and often against ourselves. When you talk to yourself are you saying: “Wow, you did a really good job today. You are so skilled!” Or is it more like this: “I’m so stupid, I’m not good at anything. I never do anything right.”
By taking note of, monitoring and being aware of how words are being used both outwardly and inwardly in our life, we can positively affect our relationships and even our wellness. In his book Power VS. Force Dr. David Hawkins shares this thought: “When the mind is dominated by a negative worldview, the direct result is a repetition of minute changes in energy flow to the various body organs. The subtle field of overall physiology is affected in all of its complex functions. Eventually an accumulation of infinitesimal changes become discernable through measurement techniques, such as, MRI, x-rays etc. By the time these changes are detectable, the disease process is already quite advanced.”
Do you look in the mirror in the morning and say: “I look great today. I look healthy and happy and fit.” Or are you saying: “Oh my, look at that belly and all those wrinkles around my eyes. I hate my body.” When I work with someone on weight management, this is a key area we look at. We can try all the diets in the world, but if we are saying negative words internally while eating a salad we are not getting anywhere. It is counterproductive to the goals you have – you may be sabotaging yourself without knowing it.
Awareness is the key to changing any patterns you may have developed over time. Beginning to notice them, and then catching the negative words in your mind and rephrasing them on the spot is the best way to effect change right now. Choose a positive reframe of the negative statement. For example: A mental image is often helpful when observing the negative thought. For example, clearly imagine that you are switching to a different radio station, or that you have a big eraser, or that you are hitting the delete or backspace key.
Consider what words you use to begin your day. Are you excited about your day? Are you dreading going in to work? Do you know that how you start the day will affect the ENTIRE day?
Try taking a few moments before you jump out of bed to pause. Take the time to visualize your day, what you would like to see in your day, how you would like the events to unfold, how you will act or speak. By being aware and mindful we can make the day a fabulous one! Try it for a few mornings – you’ll be hooked. It is exciting and empowering.
Begin with this… “I create my day…” Use creative colourful delicious words.
Use them to create the day, week and life of your dreams!
I wish you an abundant winter filled with much love, passion and adventure. As always I am here to support you in this life journey and love your feedback.