I felt I needed to add more to my article of 2 weeks ago… (In case you missed it, my original article can be found – here.)
Part of what I was reflecting on by the water was also the following: how many conversations need to occur in our lives; that rarely occur in our society at all? What are the topics we may only discuss with close friends? What questions need to be answered that are not asked?
For me, the questions I had growing up centred around: the changes in my physiology, detailed anatomy of the body; (mine and others), sexual orientation, sex itself, gender questions, navigating relationships; both friendships and with a beloved, love-making, intimacy, safety, etc. I needed so many answers to so many questions. I didn’t have clear information about the changes occurring within me, and those around me.
Who do we talk to when the questions come up? Where do we obtain accurate information? If we don’t get the answers we need, many of us end up blundering through life guided by misinformation to key aspects of being an ever-evolving ever-changing human. We hope we get it right and that no one will notice how much we don’t know.
Because of this ‘not-knowing’ we may live with confusion, guilt, shame, insecurity and judgment. We may have ‘tried’ to get information through books or the Internet. So we entered into relationships and moved through the changes in our lives unconscious; unaware of what we didn’t know. I strongly feel that because of this lack of education a lot of things occur that would not have given the right education.
And one of them is this: sexual assault. The statistics are through the roof and I know most of us have experienced this in some way and never said a word to anyone. I am one of those people. I seriously wonder how much of our misinformation and lack of education contributed to these alarming statistics?
And this is why I have been reading and studying intensively. I know I need to offer healing and help. I see so many people walk around in suffering and carrying the baggage, anger resentment and shame.
The following are some statistics I recently found:
Sexual Assault Statistics in Canada – A Numerical Representation of the Truth
- Of every 100 incidents of sexual assault, only 6 are reported to the police
- 1 – 2% of “date rape” sexual assaults are reported to the police
- 1 in 4 North American women will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime
- 11% of women have physical injury resulting from sexual assault
- Only 2 – 4% of all sexual assaults reported are false reports
- 60% of sexual abuse/assault victims are under the age of 17
- over 80% of sex crime victims are women
- 80% of sexual assault incidents occur in the home
- 17% of girls under 16 have experienced some form of incest
- 83% of disabled women will be sexual assaulted during their lifetime
- 15% of sexual assault victims are boys under 16
- half of all sexual offenders are married or in long term relationships
- 57% of aboriginal women have been sexually abused
- 1/5th of all sexual assaults involve a weapon of some sort
- 80% of assailants are friends and family of the victim
The above noted statistics have been taken from various studies across Canada. While the numbers can never be 100% accurate, a few key generalizations can be made:
- sexual assault is far more common than most would suspect;
- relatively few incidents of sexual assault are reported to the police;
- young and otherwise vulnerable women are most likely to be sexually abused;
- most sexual assaults are committed by someone close to the victim, not a stranger.
I share this with you this week because my searching and studies that began at the age of 14 (I was curious!) were filled with so much inaccuracy; the ignorance of which led me into situations that caused me pain and injury. I have seen similar situations with so many others in my life and wellness practice.
It breaks my heart every single day.
I feel such a strong call to help change the statistics – for men and women to be more aware, conscious of choice, of setting boundaries, to know and understand their bodies, to be more safely and thoroughly educated in all of their queries – to be empowered with information to sustain them as they grow older and begin to explore.
I now offer a yoni egg (jade egg practice) and a variety of workshops / sessions for women to reclaim, reconnect to and heal themselves from trauma. I offer healing sessions for men and women, and offer workshops for singles and couples to learn conscious loving practices for self and with their partners. (Private sessions also offered.)
I feel blessed to have met many people and be part of communities that have supported me and provided me with the information, skills and confidence to move forward in a direction that feels close to my heart. I cannot walk away from what I feel is so needed in our culture. I wish these words for everyone:
“Instead of saying, “I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues”
say: “I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.”
~ Horacio Jones
I wish you an abundant 2017 filled with much love, passion and adventure.
As always I am here to support you in this life journey – and welcome your feedback.