Falling in love is the easy part – keeping the fires burning takes patience, commitment and hard work. Just as a garden needs tending, watering and weeding, relationships deserve the same kind of attention and nurturing.
- Have a great attitude, be positive…it’s contagious!
- Never argue when you’re mad. Let things simmer down and wait until you feel more centered and calm. Things said in anger such as: “I despise you. I wish I never married you” etc. hurt deeply and can never be erased.
- See the whole person – right to their core. Aspects of our personality can come into play and are not the real person – old automatic patterns can rear their ugly head in times of conflict and stress. Each of us has our flaws. Pick your battles and let go of the small stuff.
- Give every day. Little kisses, love notes, your best outfit…why dress for everyone else to see? Make an effort to be your best self for your partner too.
- Don’t be afraid of going for counseling sessions together…to help keep things running smoothly as issues arise, and to iron out things that aren’t clear. A good relationship allows our “stuff’ to come up. Let it come up safely with the guidance of someone you trust.
- Share your deepest feelings, dreams and goals together regularly.
- Figure out what each of you value in life. Share your core beliefs and all of the things most important to you in life and love.
- Figure out meals together and make it a precious time to spend together, rather than a tedious obligation. It can be a time to laugh, be playful and share your day.
- Pretend you’re dating. Recreate the times and the events when you first met. Pull out that old music and dance together.
- Give back more often. Let go of the: “What’s in it for me?” attitude. Stop being selfish. Listen and talk, try not to always be the one unloading.
I wish you abundant winter season filled with much love, passion and adventure. As always I am here to support you in this life journey – and welcome your feedback.